I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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