What did we do last night that was yellow?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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