You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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