Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
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i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
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You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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