So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize