I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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