is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize