Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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