you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize