non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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