I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
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she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
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Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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