Nicole vs. Life
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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