i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize