Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize