Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize