Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
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Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
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Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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