You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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