OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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