I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize