Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize