Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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