I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize