dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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