I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize