I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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