i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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