Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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