The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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