Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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