She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
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We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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