yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
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