Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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