idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
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This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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