can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I currently don't understand fingers.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize