Someone shit on the floor
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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