He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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