fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
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The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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