his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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