fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize