so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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