Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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