Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
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Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
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I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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