The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize