Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
wow bdsm is so cute
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