god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
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I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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