You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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