cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize