A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
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Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
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When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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