Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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