she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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