before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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